These wounds won't heal
by mocha frappalicious
Summary: When something terrible happens to Allison Cameron, her whole world seems to fall apart. But soon somebody notices, that there's something wrong with her. Will this person be able to help her out of this dilemma? warning: eating disorder
1. What have you done?

Hey! This is my first House story in English. And I gotta say, that I'm Austrian so actually I speak German.

Please forgive me, if there are mistakes in it (I really tried hard not to make any)!

:)

**Chapter 1 – What have you done?**

There she was. Her pillow pressed tightly against her, tears in her eyes. She let her gaze slide over the sheets, his hand still rested on her waist. On the nightstand, a little calendar had its place. She could make out the date, since the moonlight was shining through the window. With one trembling hand she reached out and gripped the calendar. „Tuesday" it read. One single tear spilled down her cheek and wettened the paper. She watched her tear, as it slid over the black letters oh-so-slowly.

Carefully, she tried to get out of his embrace. The last thing she wanted in this moment was to wake him up. She didn't want to look in his face – in his eyes.

Slowly she sank back into the pillows and closed her eyes. His breath smelled of alcohol. Though she had already turned away from him, she could still smell him. She pressed her lips tightly together, as she desperately tried to hold back a loud sob. Finally she cried herself to a restless sleep.

The first shafts of sun shined through the window, the birds sang, outside everything seemed so perfect. She had already been awake for long, but she didn't dare make a move. She didn't dare leave the bed.

The young woman shivered, as he suddenly moved in his sleep. She sat there motionless, as he straightened up and rubbed his dozy eyes. Slowly, he turned his head. He obviously was looking for eye contact. What did he expect of her? That she forgot everything he had done to her last night? That she smiled at him, pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and whispered a lovely "Good morning, sweetheart" in his ear? She still didn't look at him, she just kept staring straight ahead. She wouldn't give him this satisfaction. In the end he would possibly think that he hadn't done anything wrong or bad. She instantly jumped up, as he laid his hand on her back.

"Allison...", he whispered.

"How dare you touch me...?", she hissed, "Back off!"

Again her eyes were filling with tears.

He just stood up without saying another word. When he was fully dressed, he left. Without a sound.

Right after the door closed behind him, Allison made her way to the bathroom. Nude. She looked at herself in the mirror.

Bruises on her wrists, on her belly, on her breasts. She felt sick. The very sight of her bruised body was insufferable.

Still looking at her own bruised body, she finally turned her back on the mirror and stepped into the shower cubicle. All she wanted, was to feel the hot water on her skin. To wash away the evidences of a crime.

°It wasn't his fault...he was drunk.°, she tried to tell herself.

°You can't tolerate this behavior! Yeah...he was drunk...so what? It doesn't justify what he has done to you!°, a voice in her head suddenly shouted at her.

That was when she lost it and began sobbing hysterically. Her salty tears mixed up with the hot water.

There she stood, under the hot water – motionless and still crying. Minutes passed by. When the water finally seemed to get colder with every passing second she turned off the water tap .

Cameron shut her eyes tightly, as she stepped out of the shower. She couldn't and wouldn't look at her oppressed body now. Without looking at her naked form in the mirror, she wrapped herself into a fluffy towel. When she finally caught a glimpse of her own image in the mirror, she saw what she had expected to see. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying – expressionless. Her dark, wet hair was falling over her shoulders in soft curls.

Just a few minutes later, Allison was back in her bedroom, rummaging through her wardrobe. She was looking for her favorite green turtle neck. When she had finally found it she put it on and went back to the bathroom, to proof if it was the right thing to wear. On normal days, this pullover fitted the color of her eyes so well, but today it was just a simple pullover, her eyes weren't shining, just shades of grey.

But this hadn't been the reason, why she had been looking for it anyway.

It wouldn't give away anything, wouldn't allow her colleagues to take a glimpse at the bruises on her neck. Cameron didn't even want to think of what would happen, if anyone saw them.

She just turned away from the mirror again – her mind drifting of to what had happened last night.

Why had he done this to her? Yes...she still had feelings for House, but she never knew that he had known. She had claimed that she was over him.

Until now, she'd always believed, that he didn't even think about it. But what he had said to her last night, changed everything. It had changed _her_.

I hope you like it :)

Btw – thanks to Omelting.snowO for beta reading luv


	2. Memories

Hey!..thanks for your reviews :)

So here's the second chapter.

I hope you like it.

**Chapter 2 - Memories**

How could she ever get involved with him? Allison had already known before, that it wouldn't work out with him. But she should have known better. The problem was that she still liked her boss way too much. Of course, she would hurt him someday.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. As long as she liked her boss the way she did, she would never be able to abandon herself to someone else. She wouldn't be able to love him the way he deserved to be loved. Not until she could get House out of her system. But she wouldn't get him out of her mind – she was sure about that now. Cameron had always claimed that she was over him, but deep inside of her she knew better. It had never been more than a lie.

If you tried to become happy so desperately, you just wouldn't get happy after all. Of course...

Allison was afraid, she'd burst into tears the moment she saw him. She was afraid, that someone could notice the bruises on her wrists, that someone could get an idea of what had happened to her.

Cameron was just scared shitless of _him_.

She wished she would never have to see him again. But they were colleagues after all and sooner or later Allison _would_ see him again. She'd even work with him again. Maybe in the same room. Maybe _alone_. At that thought the young woman couldn't help but shiver.

Slowly, languidly, Allison made her way to the phone. She just couldn't stand the thought of seeing him today.

Hopefully she could take the day off. Cameron took the receiver in her trembling hand as she finally dialled Cuddy's number. It rang a few times, before she suddenly could hear Cuddy's voice. Cameron was just about to say something, when she realized that it was the answer phone she was listening to.

"Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, Dr. Cuddy here. Unfortunately I'm not aviable at the moment. Please try again later or leave a message if it is important. Peeep."

Probably, she was just shouting at House at the moment. Allison sighed.

"Good morning, Dr. Cuddy. It's Cameron. I feel a little bit sick today. I'm sorry but I don't seem to be fit enough for coming to work today. Thank you.", with these words she hung up and put the receiver down.

For a few seconds which seemed like days, she was just standing there motionless and stared into the emptiness.

When she had finally made her way back to the bedroom, Allison allowed herself to just fall back into the bed and close her eyes, to find some rest after this sleepless, terrible night. But she didn't seem to be granted the peace she was so desperately longing for...

The young woman immediately jumped off the bed, as her nostrils filled with _his_ scent. She tried not to let it get to herself, but his scent lingered on everything.Suddenly one little detail seemed to catch her eye. A short blond hair.

Without hesitating, Cameron gripped the bedsheets and the pillowcases and ripped them off her bed almost violently with one single action. She threw them out of the window. Everything she wanted was to get rid of them – of him.

Allison buried her face in her hands, as she sat down on the now empty bed. She didn't even notice the tears, which were spilling down her cheeks mercilessly.

_I sat on my couch, like almost every evening at about that time, when suddenly somebody knocked on my door. I took a peek at the wall clock which was hanging in the living room, as I realized that it was only 5 o'clock. _

_°It's probably just one of the neighbour's kids, who wants to play a little.°, I thought. I headed to the door with a smile on my face. "Just in case...", I murmured, as I took a look through the peephole. Different from what I had expected, there wasn't Katie – the child of my neighbours, but my colleague, Robert Chase. I hesitated, before I finally opened the door. When I saw facial expression, I was as if struck by lightning. He looked tired and upset. His eyes were red and puffy, his gaze was glassy, his breath smelled of alcohol. I was sure that he was drunk. "Heeello Allis'n...Mind'f I come in?", he babbled. Dead drunk, I stated. Again I was hesitating. I couldn't help, but let my caring side overcome me again.. I just __**couldn't**__ send him away in his current state. _

"_Sure...come in..", I replied and finally stepped aside, so that Chase could enter my apartment. _

"_Thangsss...", he slurred in response. _

_The whole situation was kinda awkward, since__I __had just quitted our little "Sex-for-fun"- relationship a few days ago._

_Now, there was this aggrieving silence, which seemed to make me more nervous with every passing second. _

"_Allison...", Robert finally began. _

"_Mhm?...", I gave him a questioning look. _

"_Why did ya dump mee?...", he babbled. _

"_Uhm...I..you...you know that I don't love you...", I stuttered and abashedly lowered my gaze._

_I couldn't look at him, because I just didn't want him to be hurt...but I was sure, he was. _

"_Ya knew from the beginning thaat I loved ya...right?...", I could even hear it in his voice, that he was hurt. _

"_I...I didn't know that you were so serious about it...", I still couldn't look at him. _

"_You hurt me...", he responded ,"You know what day it is today?"_

"_Tuesday?..."_

"_Yeah...Tuesday...", a bitter laugh escaped his lips. _

"_And as silly as I am, I still love you!!", he suddenly shoutet in my face. _

_I just didn't know how to respond to this sudden surge of emotion, so I decided to remain silent._

"_What'bout a little bit of sex?...", I gave him a look of pure shock...because it didn't sound like a joke. He didn't even grin mischievous or wolfish...He sounded deadly serious. _

"_I don't think that this would be a great idea...", I replied immediately. _

"_You think it's a bad idea?! So what?! Did I ever think it was a great idea, when you felt like having sex in a closet?! No! But I just participated in your silly games!", I was speechless. He suddenly sounded so...sober minded. He scared me. _

"_And now...now you are going to conform to my laws of the game!", Chase slurred, as he violently clutched my wrist and dragged me to the bedroom. I shouted at him, tried to struggle against his grip, but he was too strong. _

"_Let go of me you bastard!!", I yelled in panic, but he didn't even think of letting go of me..._

The tears were still spilling down her cheeks mercilessly. Minutes passed by, till she finally stood up and made her way to the bathroom. Allison turned on the water tap and splashed cold water in her face. When she looked up, she saw what she had expected to see. Pale skin, still emotionless, empty eyes.

--

...So...what do you think about it? R&R please.

Thanks again to 0melting.snow0.


	3. Messages deleted

**Hey! First of all – sorry that it took me so long to update, but I'm quite busy at the moment :(**

**And thanks so much to all of you guys who reviewed! ;)**

**Chapter 3 **

There she was, sitting on the windowsill. Without focusing any object, she just remained there, staring out of the window - into the emptiness. Beneath her, there was the never resting Princeton. The streets were overcrowded. Angry, hectic people everywhere. Car drivers honking without rhyme or reason, scolding each other. Currently not her world. Recent days, her apartment had been like her own private bubble, which no one would have been able to intrude. She hadn't gone to work the past few days, she had just sealed herself off from the environment.

Her hair was falling over her shoulders in loose waves. Pale skin, thick, dark rings under her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping for days, since she didn't feel the need for getting some rest. She hadn't even eaten something. Her only nourishment had been a bottle of vodka, which she was still clasping tightly.

Her colleagues had tried to reach her over the phone far more than once, but Allison didn't care. She didn't care about anything. The young woman just didn't feel like talking to anyone.

She took another swig from her bottle. The clear substance was burning down her throat. It was the only thing which let her know, that she was still alive.

Cameron took another sip, before she finally made her way to the phone. She was weaving. Completely uncoordinated.

Allison nearly lost her balance. Clutching the desk tightly, she pressed the 'new messages'-button.

"You have five new messages.", a monotone voice told her.

"Peeep. Cameron? Are you here? I'ts Cuddy. You haven't been calling for a while. Just wanted to make sure everything is okay with you. Please phone us. We're worried about you.

Peeep. Hey Cameron. It's Wilson. House is already getting on my nerves. The diagnostic department will perish without you. Please let us know, that you're okay. We're worried about you.

Peeep. Hey Allison. We all are already worried about you. It's not like you to not let us hear anything from you for days.

Peeep. Cameron, the paperwork isn't going to sort itself out. Take your tissues and move your cute little butt over here as quick as possible. Chase's coffee tastes like attempted murder. By the way, no one knows where you hid the damn sugar.

Peeep. Cameron? It's Cuddy, again. Please contact us already. We are seriously worried about you.

Peeep. No new messages.", Allison sighed dramatically as she pressed the delete button.

"Messages deleted."

"Bite me...", she slurred.

Her head was throbbing like hell, it was insufferable. With a painful facial expression, she took hold of her head. Everytime her stomach grumbled she did nothing less than taking another sip of the vodka, she was still holding in one hand...

A few hours later she was standing beneath the shower. The hot water hitting her cold skin. Paired with the alcohol, it allowed her to forget her worries, to make the insufferable throbbing in her head a little bit more sufferable. Even if it didn't last long.

Again, Allison looked down on her body. The dark bruises still didn't seem to fade. Every single time, she looked at the visible evidences of _that_ night she felt ashamed. She was embarrassed by the things, which had happened to her – by the things he had done to her. Everything the young woman wanted to accomplish, was to waste as few thoughts on him as possible.

If he remembered what he'd done to her at all? She didn't know. She didn't even want to know. Allison just didn't care about him anymore. He had become one of the human beings, which didn't mean anything to her. At least she tried to persuade herself of it...

Wrapped into a fluffy towel, she stepped over the cold floor barefooted. When the telephone caught her attention once more, she couldn't help but think of House. She had to come back to work soon, if she didn't want to lose her job. What would he think about the whole situation?...Would he be concerned? No. That wouldn't be House.

Allison shook her head, in the hope that she could get rid of all this thoughts.

Maybe she should just get some rest, just sleep about it...

**In the meantime: **

The diagnostic had had some different cases lately. Only now House and and his team seemed to realize, what an important role Cameron had in it. Without the responsible-minded immunologist nothing seemed to work as planned.

It was late in the evening and usually everyone would go home, but without Cameron the three of them had no other alternative but work overtime.

"Chase! Call Cameron and tell her she is ought to pick up the phone and let us know, that she's still alive if she wants to keep her job.", House called over his shoulder, as he brew some coffee to make the long night more bearable.

Chase's eyes went wide.

"Uhm...I'm quite busy at the moment...why can't ...Foreman do this?"

"We're all busy. Corrupt her or something like that. Usually you have no problem with promising her pie in the sky." - like a hit in the face. Foreman suppressed an eyeroll.

"God Chase...I don't mind if I call her...for any incomprehensible reason you can't..."

"Uhm...thanks Foreman."

Eric just nodded, before he took the phone in his hand and dialed Cameron's number.

"Trouble in paradise...", House mumbled in a sing-song voice, as he grinned at Chase gloatingly.

**I hope you like it :) R&R please. **


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